On Beacon Hill, the hackerama – or at least Charlie Baker’s allies – rush to the lifeboats like the Titanic has just hit another iceberg.

The end is near! The end is near! Abandoned ship!

And now the portmanteaus and payroll patriots and yes men are all trying to settle into their phony, unburdened state jobs before Maura Healey becomes governor in January.

Not just Republicans either. Anyone who isn’t awake is trying to take advantage of the last few days to take shelter from the storm.

It’s unfortunate that the Boston media no longer covers local politics, as it seems like a lame feeding frenzy for the ages starting here.

If you were looking for a harbinger of how out of control this fall will be, check out the results of the Motor Vehicle Registry low-digit license plate lottery a few weeks ago.

The winner of the very tasteful 8905 plate was a “William M. Bulger” from Pembroke.

It wasn’t the Corrupt Midget, or even the CM’s son and namesake. It was a different William M. Bulger, but it was still an omen, as the ancients would say. A straw in the wind.

And now we have Shannon O’Brien, of the forgotten but not missing Easthampton O’Briens, the former state treasurer and receiver general, a hack’s hack, married to another hack’s hack, a representative of the Bankrupt state turned lobbyist.

Shannon O’Brien is a Democrat, and she just landed a $181,722-a-year nomination to the same clownish Cannabis Control Commission she recently sought favors from. This is yet another indication of why Sonny McDonough used to say “lame duck is my favorite dish”.

By the way, Sonny used to serve with Shannon’s late father, Eddie, on the Governor’s Council. The past is never dead, as William Faulkner once said, it is not even past. And certainly not at the State House.

And by the way, would State Treasurer Deb Goldberg ever have dared to make such an outrageous nomination if she had even the usual weak pro forma Republican opposition in the Nov. 8 election?

But Goldberg is running unopposed, because the dysfunctional, broke GOP couldn’t care to run a candidate against her. They were too busy trying to recruit main opponents against Anthony Amore, the candidate for auditor, and also trying to knock Amore off the ballot at the state convention.

Elections have consequences. The consequences are even more dire when you allow Democrats to run unopposed, or when you nominate the unemployable political equivalent of punching bag fame as the Washington Generals of Harlem Globetrotters.

Let’s start with the Governor’s Council, which James Michael Curley called the knuckle shop.

The Governor’s Council has just confirmed a new judge — a certain Sarah Jubinville. Does this name mean anything to you? There happens to be an adviser to the governor named… Robert Jubinville.

A nationwide search…for Bob’s daughter!

Then there are the South Boston Flahertys. The Flahertys belong to that increasingly rare breed of Democrats who are not mad.

Michael Sr. was a state representative, then a judge – Judge Flats. Her son Michael Jr. – Baby Flats – is a Boston city councilman who should have been appointed last year by Governor Baker as Suffolk County district attorney after Rachael Rollins became a US attorney.

But Baby Flats had a problem getting his deserved promotion (in addition to his original sin of being a white Irish-Catholic from Massachusetts) – he had been a baker. If they name a street after Charlie Parker (as President Biden calls it), it will have to be one-way.

Instead of rewarding a supporter like Flaherty, Parker nominated Kevin Hayden, who is a bit stiff and has never run for office.

What followed was a brutal primary between Hayden and the ultra dodgy Ricardo Arroyo. Suffolk County nearly had a collective nervous breakdown trying to stop a Defund the Police behemoth like Arroyo from taking over and unleashing a Soros-style crime wave on the city of Boston.

That primary was unnecessary trauma and its aftermath continues, with Arroyo City Council’s new redistricting plan as a reward for its tormentors like fellow Councilman Frank Baker.

Which brings us to Charlie Parker’s last judicial appointment – Margaret F. Albertson, the F standing for “Flaherty”.

She is the sister of Baby Flats, the daughter of Flats Sr. Another nationwide search!

That’s what they call in basketball a make-up call. Charlie Parker ruined everything by not giving Baby Flats the prosecutor’s job, so he makes up for it by appointing his sister to be a judge.

What I don’t understand is why Peg even wants the black dresses. She is already a magistrate clerk of the South Boston District Court for $174,532 a year.

It’s a gig for life – for life! No mandatory retirement age. Peg Flaherty Albertson knows this better than anyone because she was assistant clerk to former South Boston magistrate clerk John Flaherty.

No relationship – just another one of those fun coincidences, like the license plate lottery winner named Bulger. Here’s another coincidence – before John Flaherty got his 58-year sinecure at the courthouse, he was a state representative for Southie, as was Peg and Baby Flats’ father before he got the job at the courthouse. justice.

John Flaherty was appointed as a clerk in 1945, and he was still drawing a paycheck 58 years later in 2004, when he died aged 94.

Of course, Clerk Peg will receive a pay raise when approved by the Governor’s Council, up to $207,855 per year. But judges must retire at 70, while clerks can serve until death separates them from the public trough.

As good as that 80% kiss in the mail is, 100% is better.

I’m out of space and haven’t even entered the endless list of Republican lawmakers and former State House aides who parachute into six-figure jobs before Healey’s hell takes shape.

On Sunday, the hackerama continues…

Shannon O’Brien (Courtesy of Massachusetts State Treasury)